my life in vans

Ask me anything/Archive/RSS

Anonymous asked: When you and Ryan were separated, like you were at school and away, how did you trust eachother? What if he kissed someone else or something.


I think it all has to do with your personalities. Ryan is literally an ultra loyal to the end kind of guy. Even when I went to school and told him we should take a month break, I told him he could date other people if he wanted. He was pretty adamant that he had no interest in that whatsoever. Through my hardest times and my meanest moments, he’s never wavered.  I had known Ryan for a long time and we had a lot of experience with hard stuff, so I knew was a trustworthy man.

We also talked about everything and so we would communicate if we were ever attracted to someone else, just to be careful. This is key. We even do this in marriage now. If I find someone attractive, I tell Ryan and vice versa. Because I don’t want to get caught hanging out too much with that person and have deeper feelings develop, because attraction is an easy thing that happens. But it is not love. So we communicate constantly about this….so we both are very realistic about it and it allows us to trust even more. If Ryan did kiss someone, I probably would have forgiven him and even would forgive him now. It would hurt, but I love him and know his heart loves mine, so any mistakes that could have happened would never determine his love for me. He’s spent the last 8 years choosing my heart and putting me first, so small mistakes cannot erase the work he has put in to honor me.

It also really depends on the relationship you have and who the person is though. Trust is built over time and you should still be with someone who honors and respects you. You don’t want to date someone who is constantly disrespecting you and cheating on you. But I think developing forgiveness and great communication skills allows for so much trust.


when you come home from school and we plan on going to a fancy dinner at church but we accidentally fall asleep together for three hours and instead decide to watch movies, make homemade pizza, drink smoothies, and talk all night instead. these are things i love about being married to you. no plan is ever ruined, because you turn every moment into fun.